I love shopping. For Everything. Even Groceries. Except pants. And even worse than pants... Capri pants.
I was blessed (yeah, "blessed") with what I affectionately call a "ghetto booty". Some call it a "bubble butt", others call it a "badonkadonk" or "Apple bottom" or many worse things and really, all descriptions fit.
Although I am happy that this "asset" finally seems to be popular (there are even catchy songs.. "Apple Bottom Jeans... with the fur") and I am possibly even bootylicious, I would be eternally grateful to all fashion designers and clothing manufacturers if they would actually make pants to fit by badonkadonk. My waist and my butt are no where near the same size and although safety pins work when you are 5, they don't look very good when you are an adult. Although sadly, I do use them on more than one pair of pants.
And all the problems I have with normal pants are tripled with capri pants. I am not sure if it is the shape of the pant leg or my short legs but they don't seem to work well with me. It takes me months and many trials to find a pair that even looks decent.
I started the plight yesterday. I came home with 2 pairs from Old Navy that I was neither thrilled with or certain of. I am already planning on taking them back - unless I get great approval from my husband. Which is doubtful - he is just as picky as I am.
Sometimes, especially around April when I am shopping for capri pants, I envy the FLDS woman. They all wear those same plain dresses that neither look good or bad. Their apple bottoms and ghetto booties don't get in the way of the pleats and they cinch up or loosen the belts to fit their waist. Or maybe I should move to a nudist colony. Then I am not even allowed to wear capri pants and I wouldn't be married off at the ripe age of 14.
Well, until the time comes when I decide to make one of those life altering decisions, I would be grateful to anybody who has some good suggestions for capri pants that look good on bubble butts.
I suffer from flat booty syndrome. I do endless squats and lunges to try and pump it up!!! But, really, I like big butts and I cannot lie (and am extremely jealous of you girls with them)! I can only feel marginally bad for you and your shopping woes. I do have a tip for you-go to truejeans.com. You can enter your measurements and it gives you what jeans would fit you best. Love it.
ReplyDeleteToo funny!! I can totally relate, I can try on 50 pairs of capris/pants and maybe find 1 pair that I kinda sorta like! Gotta love the ghetto booty!
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